"I forgive myself for enjoying life"

Do you feel angry with yourself every now and then? I do. More often than I would like. So, like always when I'm aware of a pattern that's holding me from being happy, I'm looking for a way to change this. Let's tell you about my latest discovery and share with you what has helped me to feel good about myself.

Today I was walking outside with my new born Jeara (10-02-2015). The sun was shining and Jeara was sleeping in a purple wrap close to my heart. I was on my way to the shopping street, looking for new baby whipes and since I was on maternity leave, I had all the time in the world to find them. Reading this, you would say all the ingredients were there to have a perfect day. And yet, I felt sad and angry.

Like a lot of times when I'm experiencing negative feelings, my Ego was talking to me angrily:

"Laurene, you should really be working right now. I mean, you have all the time, why aren't you helping people?! You know God wants you to spend every minute devoting to your life's purpose and that means work, work, work. How can you feel good walking here by the way, while Marieke is working 5 days a week and earning all the money? You didn't make a profit in the last months and you were only being a lazy pregnant women, weren't you? You're a bad partner and a worthless being."

Even though I know a lot about affirmations, angels and spiritual laws, I agreed with my Ego. For a few minutes, at least. In these minutes I asked my angels to help me. I had no particular prayer, I just asked: '

"PLEASE DEAR ANGELS, CAN YOU HELP ME FEEL BETTER?"

At first I noticed two passers-by walking with a suitcase. One of the suitcases was red and the other pink. "Oh wow, they must head to a wonderful place full of adventure!" This was a little sparkle litting the fire of my imagination and soon I was dreaming about a world trip, having a second house in a sunny country and speaking at events to inspire and help people as a spiritual teacher.

It was only a minute later that I arrived at the shopping street and had to wait for a car to pass. Unconsciously I registrated a lot of things of the car: it was a small car and probably a girl's, because it was pink all-over. And I mean the cotton candy kind-of-color. Hey, wait a minute! Pink again. Archangel Jophiels color. My vision of a second house in a sunny country was immediately replaced with this car in front of me. I smiled. Of course, Jophiel, the Archangel that helps us to think beautiful thoughts and appreciate the beauty around us. Since I was clearly angry at myself, she was there to help me change my thoughts and to remind me to be kind to myself. To allow myself to be. 

WHAT WAS THE LAST TIME I FORGAVE MYSELF?

I couldn't remember. So I started to examine my thoughts and feelings. I was feeling angry because...

... I wasn't making any money, only spending it.

... I had the time to do what I want and Marieke didn't have that opportunity since she works 40 hours a week on a contract-base

... there was another really frightening feeling hidden in a small corner: happiness. 

AND I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL HAPPY AS LONG AS ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND ME DIDN' T EXPERIENCE THE SAME HAPPINESS AS WELL. 

Bang! The realization hit me and I felt like a boxer who just got punched by his opponent. I was laying on the floor of negativity and I didn't see it coming. Fortunately I was blessed with a good fighters' mentality, so I pulled myself back together and was determined to get up again. 

I HAD TO GET TO A PLACE OF LOVE. I HAD TO CHANGE MY THOUGHTS IN ORDER TO SHIFT MY EMOTIONS AND THE WHOLE SITUATION I WAS IN. 

"I forgive myself for taking the time to relax"
"I forgive myself that I have all the time to do what I want"
"I forgive myself for enjoying life"

Within seconds, I felt so much better. Weight was lifted. My energy changed. I suddenly looked at my beautiful daughter, feeling my heart almost explode of love while whishing for Marieke to experience the same feelings. And I realised that relaxation was key to allow new things to come into my life. Like new ideas to help others. Or an idea for a new article ;)

Over to you:

Do you recognize any of the above? Strange and at the same time interesting, isn't it, how our Ego's can make us feel bad while we have so much to be grateful for? A lot of times we feel bad for experiencing more joy, abundance or wealth than the people around us. While the angels are always showing me there is enough for everyone and the energy of joy even helps us to attract what we want. So we have more to share with others.

Do you feel angry at yourself for some reason? And is your Ego attacking you all the time with many 'need-to's', 'should-do's' or 'had-to's'? When you're looking for a change, take a moment to examine - and maybe even write down - your thoughts and forgive yourself. You can even share it with others if you like, so you can help each other along the way. You can also declare it in the comments below. I'd love to read it!

If you'd like to get some support with forgivess and healing, you can contact me. I'd love to see you happy!

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How 10 strangers, a bunch of cards and a library made my day

Let´s take 10 strangers, a bunch of cards and a library. Can you see the similarities? Let me help you out: They were all part of my 'I live my dream' mission today, which started at my most magical place: my heart.

Please, let me share my story with you. Don't have time to read everything? Just scroll down for the conclusions. Lots of love!

It could have been a pretty normal trip to the library... I walked to the front door with a bag of borrowed books. My left foot almost touched the doormat as Archangel Raphael - the angel of healing - caught my attention: ´Laurene, let's take a few of the 'You are allowed to be' cards with you, write down some loving words and put it in some books in the library as a surprise for the readers.' My brain immediately responded: 'That's the same idea the angels told me about one year ago.'

The memory popped up... Once I arrived in the library last year, I had taken the cards out, put them back after a second and told the angels: 'Listen, I'm very sorry, but I can't do this. I'm too scared. What will others think about me? And what if the library employees will find out?' So I had gone home continuously convincing myself with a 'what-an-original-idea-but-not-me' thought, and trying to forget about it as soon as possible.

And now, one year later, I was standing there. With the same idea. My first reaction was alike: scary! However, I had gained some wisdom in the last year, so another thought followed:

Being scared = ego trying to control = don´t listen, take action! 

Determined to live my dream, help others and share this message of love that was on the cards, I walked back into the living room to the white book shelves and grabbed a handful of cards. The first step was a fact.

A little later. With no more than me, myself and I and a couple of cards, I found myself sitting at a small table in the library. What to write on a card to a stranger? What message to share? I closed my eyes and concentrated on my heart chakra, at the same time asking Archangel Gabriel for inspiration. Once I felt my heart's energy, the words easily popped up:

'Dear reader,

The angels asked me to share this message. Today, I'm sharing it with you. You are allowed to be. 

Blessings and have a nice day, Laurene' 

Imagining the reader opening a book and being surprised by seeing a card, I started writing. Soon, my heart energy became stronger and the further I got, the bigger the smile on my face. Yes, it could be that the person opening the book wouldn't like angels. It could be that the person felt embarrassed being in the library and reading it, given the emotions these words usually trigger (have had people crying while reading, hugging me, smiling).

But hey, no-one would be able to ignore that it was all written from the heart, having had the intention of sharing love. 

'Ready, steady, go!' So with 10 cards in my hand and a 'I-just-want-to-see-if-this-is-an-interesting-book' face, I calmly picked a book from the shelves. My right thumb invisibly slipped over the cards, seperating the upper one from the rest. I peeked through my eyelashes, searching for employees or readers to catch me because of my deviant behaviour. Pfew. No-one to be seen. I took a deep breath: 1,2, 3...

...With supersonic fastness I opened the book, put a card in it and turned to the next page to make my action invisible for possible prying eyes. Supposedly nonchalant, I put the book back on the shelve. Supposedly... Inside me there was this 'I-did-it-even-though-it-was-frightening!' storm going on. My brain was reconstructing the last minutes over and over, convincing itself that it had really happened. And my heart was jumping up and down as if it had just won the Olympic Games.

With a big smile and 9 cards in my hand, I turned around and silently left the shelve behind me. The latest victory still on top of my mind, I felt confident. And I had to admit that I actually was having a lot of fun (!) sneaking through the library with my little love letters. So I happily put another 8 cards in different books. 9 down, 1 to go.

What to do with nr. 10? I was looking around, seeing some dedicated library employees which now appeared less scary to me. Maybe I could even make one of them happy... I looked at the shelve in front of me and smiled: I was standing before the category of Spirituality. And there was this perfect place for a card to be directly spotted by one of the employees. My hand reached out and put it right in front of my eye, side by side with some yogi wisdom. 10. Mission accomplished.

I walked away, rewinding the tape: Yes, I had experienced anxiety. Yes, I had been wondering what others would think about it. And yes, I had been feeling insecure and vulnerable.

But most important, I didn't let that stop me this time. Listening to the angels and acting upon their guidance, made me experience so many positive and valuable things.

Let me share with you what I learned from my library love adventure that has helped me getting over anxiety and accomplish my 'I live my dream mission' for this day. I turned it into tips for you to help you live your dream:

• Take back your power. Don't let fear keep you from living your dream. By accepting your fear, seeing the power you allowed it to have and consciously making the decision to take it back, you will experience courage, inner peace and harmony. This will make it a lot easier to take action.
• Allow yourself to be. Turn your focus from 'what will others think about me' to 'how can I help others to experience love'. It will open up your heart and love will flow into places that once were filled with anxiety.
• Ask your angels to guide you and listen. You needn't go through your current situation alone. Your guardian angels are always with you. Also, you can ask various Archangels for a specific situation. Then, let go and wait for the answer. It can come to you as a thought, feeling, words you're hearing or something you just know. The guidance of the angels can help you to align with your life's purpose, to feel supported and loved. Which makes it much more likely for you to accomplish your dream.

Enjoy!

With an extremely happy feeling and my heart still jumping, I left the library. What a wonderful experience. Would I ever get to know peoples' facial expressions, thoughts and feelings when reading the card? Probably not and that's perfectly fine. To me - and that's what I experienced on my mission today too - this is all that matters:

Love is the only truth. 

What challenging leap of faith did you take? What fears did you face and what have you done to get over it that has worked for you?  I'd be happy to read your tips and probably other people would too. Please leave your comment below.  

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Services

Angels

Course in Angel Messages

Learn how you can carefully answer your own and other people's questions about the meaning of life. We will work with the Angel Tarot Cards deck from Doreen Virtue. In every lesson, you will have another experience: you will- among other things - learn to trust your own channels of communication with the angels (clairaudience, -voyance, -sentience or cognizance) and learn several spreads. For example: choice-spread, love-spread and the Celtic Cross. Also we'll answer the question: how to start giving paid readings?

Interested? Find out more. 

Angel Card Readings

With an angel card reading you'll get a lovingly and clear answer from the angels to your questions. A reading will provide you with insights in your specific situation and can help you to take the next step on your journey through life. 

Also, it's possible to have a reading with a theme: Year reading (specified per month), Love reading, Birthday reading. 

Go to the website for more information or see what others say about a reading.

Healings
In a healing session our focus is on restoring the balance of body, mind and spirit. During your life you can face physical, mental, emotional, social or spiritual challenges. These challenges can result in energy blocks which cause an imbalance. For example:

Maybe you´re exhausted because you're a high sensitive person who tends to take over emotions from others. It happens to you every day and you simply don't know how to protect yourself. In a healing session I will provide you with tips and use Reiki, massage and/or nutrition to help you restore the energy balance.

Or maybe you are aware, but you don't want to set healthy boundaries because that makes you feel selfish. You feel you are helping people be happier by taking over their stuff. This is very nobel, but it makes you feel overwhelmed and tired in the end. In that case, we will focus on your (unconscious) believes and expectations -for example by using tapping or a healing journey-, work on your self-love and end up with some Reiki and massage to relax.

Do you recognize this? Discover the possibilities or read people's experiences.

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